Hummer H3, 15 Minute Passenger Review

"JR1" (type35bugatti) 02/09/2014 at 13:50 • Filed to: Hummer H3, Truck Yeah, Rant, Oppositelock

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My girlfriend's family recently bought a Hummer H3.

I love the look of the Hummer H3. It has that rugged, "Get the hell out of my way, I am better than you look." It is a great vehicle for traveling around in 2 inches of unplowed snow on a Saturday night. In my 15 minutes with the H3 however these were the only two positive traits I found about the Hummer.

In those short 15 minutes sitting in the passenger seat I began to realize why Hummer went out of business. In a vehicle that cost 30 grand new for the base model a better interior would have been appreciated. I realized the plastics were about as cheap as the plastic in my 2000 S10 (It's bad). The I-5 in the hefty 2 1/2 ton Hummer makes it slower than a pontoon boat. I am not sure I have ever been in anything that felt so slow.

Honestly in a truck that big why do the windows have to be that small? And of course the gas mileage is worse than just about anything on the rode this side of a V12. In a 7 hour drive to see me my girlfriend said she got about 14 miles to the gallon. Needless to say I was disappointed and understand why they went out of business. I wanted to like the H3. I really did I always thought they were cool, but after sitting in the passenger seat to my dismay I realized the H3 was a sad attempt at a luxury off roader in GMs dark era.

However it still looks pretty kick ass and I am sure it is a rock crawler but I would never buy one. Just give me a Wrangler.

Jarod Rose is a car fanatic. He is a sophomore at BGSU and lives in Ohio. He occasionally likes to write articles on Oppositelock because he finds it fun. He is also eating a Dukin Donuts cookie dough donut and suggests you try it.

M54B30 > JR1 02/09/2014 at 14:01

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They're rough. The H2 and H3 are equally terrible in almost every aspect. I used to have a sticker on a Grand Cherokee that said "Hummer Recovery Team" and it would piss off alllllll the bros in Hummers. Also, they're pretty terrible at what they look to be best at: being tough.

JR1 > M54B30 02/09/2014 at 14:02

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Yikes I didn't even look into crash test safety but judging from that picture it isn't very good.

Joe_Limon > JR1 02/09/2014 at 14:12

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I think I found your main problem, the h3 was never meant to be a luxury suv. It was a civilianized (neutered) humvee.

JR1 > Joe_Limon 02/09/2014 at 14:13

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I always thought of them as more of a luxury I guess, I was like 10/12 when they came out and all the rich people had them. Therefore I thought of them as luxurious. Guess I was wrong.

The World of Vee > JR1 02/09/2014 at 14:15

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The only proper hummer was the H1. The others were just prosumer vehicles used to make people feel special.

The only one I'd still consider would be the H2 Truck or a proper H1 Truck

SnapUndersteer, Italian Spiderman > JR1 02/09/2014 at 14:18

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Girlfriends family?

How many of them DO you have?

The Opponaut formerly known as MattP123 > JR1 02/09/2014 at 14:21

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My friend has one in stick. Say what you will, that thing was a fucking blast to drive around the hills of SF and the bay area.

Nibbles > JR1 02/09/2014 at 14:26

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It's actually pretty good and this picture is misleading. It looks to me like the collision safety devices did exactly what they're supposed to do. The hood caved, the shotguns crumpled and the engine cradle dropped. How about that passenger cabin though? Untouched.

I_AmDeath > Joe_Limon 02/09/2014 at 14:30

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The H3 is far divorced from the rugged toughness of the Humvee though.

Goshen, formerly Darkcode > JR1 02/09/2014 at 14:39

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Is the Wrangler yours?

CPT Speedbump > Joe_Limon 02/09/2014 at 14:40

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No, it wasn't a neutered Humvee, it was/is a re bodied Trailblazer, and that's all it was. And the H2 was simply a re bodied Tahoe

JR1 > The World of Vee 02/09/2014 at 14:50

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I never cared for the look of the H2 it was extremely boxy. The H1 does look great but they are more money than I'd be willing to pay.

JR1 > The Opponaut formerly known as MattP123 02/09/2014 at 14:52

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I'm sure they are extremely fun off-road, but unfortunately most people don't take them off road.

JR1 > SnapUndersteer, Italian Spiderman 02/09/2014 at 14:53

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Hahaha let's hope they don't read this and find out I'm dating more than one!

JR1 > Goshen, formerly Darkcode 02/09/2014 at 14:55

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No I wish, I took it offline.

xx45xx > Nibbles 02/09/2014 at 15:09

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lord forbid they wouldve hit something other than a 7000 lb dodge lol.

Joe_Limon > I_AmDeath 02/09/2014 at 15:12

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That statement is true and has no impact on how luxurious the vehicle is.

The WB > JR1 02/09/2014 at 15:13

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...but after sitting as a passenger seat to my dismay I realized the H3 was a sad attempt at a luxury off roader in GMs dark era.

This gave me a pretty hilarious mental image of you pretending to be a passenger seat.

Joe_Limon > CPT Speedbump 02/09/2014 at 15:14

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I never claimed that the Hummer had humvee anything in it. In order to "civilianize" the vehicle they chose to go with a different platform.

JR1 > The WB 02/09/2014 at 15:22

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Hahaha I didn't notice that, my editing is rather pathetic.

The WB > JR1 02/09/2014 at 15:23

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I should have also said I enjoyed the article. :D

Nibbles > xx45xx 02/09/2014 at 15:24

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Well for discussions sake, lets look at the composition of these two vehicles

H2. Grill, plastic. Bumper, plastic over steel. Hood, fiberglass. Frame, steel. Shotguns, mild steel. Suspension components, aluminum and steel.

Ram 3500; Grill, plastic. Bumper, steel. Hood, steel. Frame, steel. Shotguns, steel. Suspension components, steel.

Which one, on composition alone, do you think would fare better in an offset head-on collision?

SnapUndersteer, Italian Spiderman > JR1 02/09/2014 at 15:58

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I got you, bro!
I'm in Columbus, 2hrs South

Dingers Ghost, Champion Jockey > The Opponaut formerly known as MattP123 02/09/2014 at 16:13

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Cooper Discoverers! I think STT? Dat blue goo though.

(Side note, I love Coopers. In case you couldn't notice. I have AT/3's myself.)

M54B30 > Joe_Limon 02/09/2014 at 16:13

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The H3 and H2 have absolutely zero to do with the Humvee, which is an AM General H1. Different owners, chassis, engines, construction, everything

JR1 > SnapUndersteer, Italian Spiderman 02/09/2014 at 16:34

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No kidding? My home town is 35 minutes east of Columbus just off route 70!

The Opponaut formerly known as MattP123 > Dingers Ghost, Champion Jockey 02/09/2014 at 16:39

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Yea he just got the tires and liked telling people he ran over Smurfs. He leveled out the front end and added rock sliders as well. He was planning on more but is selling it and his C6 Grand Sport to fund renovations to the house he just bought.

Dingers Ghost, Champion Jockey > The Opponaut formerly known as MattP123 02/09/2014 at 17:35

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Pretty clean H3 he's selling!

The Opponaut formerly known as MattP123 > Dingers Ghost, Champion Jockey 02/09/2014 at 17:58

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I think he's looking to get 17 for it. If I had the money I would.

Dingers Ghost, Champion Jockey > The Opponaut formerly known as MattP123 02/09/2014 at 17:59

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Sell your liver/kidneys/children/other unnecessary things for cash?

The Opponaut formerly known as MattP123 > Dingers Ghost, Champion Jockey 02/09/2014 at 18:12

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Nah... As I glance at the bikes and guitars in my room... lol

It is pretty clean though. He's a great guy. Has that Hummer and a C6 Grand Sport, and was living in an almost $2k per month apartment in SF, despite technically not finishing high school or college. Lucky for him he's a software developer/engineer so degrees and such don't matter as long as you can do the job. He paid for my round trip flight in exchange for a full detailing of the Hummer and teaching him how in the process. He told me to go on Amazon and just order everything I would need. Soaps, waxes, cleaners, sponges, buffer, buckets... no questions asked. Great friend.

Dingers Ghost, Champion Jockey > The Opponaut formerly known as MattP123 02/09/2014 at 18:14

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Sounds like a cool dude!

xx45xx > Nibbles 02/09/2014 at 22:02

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of course the old dodge is gonna do better, due to composition and design. Maybe not at protecting the occupants. I think there is a cutoff year...early 90s or so..for all vehicle models that crumple zones and impact absorption became more important than rigid construction, saving lives at the cost of vehicle durability

HammerheadFistpunch > JR1 02/13/2014 at 17:53

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The H3 - Amazingly good offroad, stupidly styled. Did you know that interior won " interior of the year " the year it came out? year. Rough year.

Also, it could have been so much better. I did a quick shop with the H3T

vs how it actually was

Obivously its not that easy, but look how much better it looks with windows!

HammerheadFistpunch > Nibbles 02/13/2014 at 18:03

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I would taken the H3 in this scenario everytime. In a bad crash, to hell with my car, I want my body to experience as few G's and passenger cell intrusions as possible.

JR1 > HammerheadFistpunch 02/13/2014 at 22:45

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Yes real windows are very nice! And if that won interior of the year than I am Neil Armstrong

Cliff8928 > JR1 02/14/2014 at 02:01

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It's missing this emblem and the 5.3 to go along with it.